the heel press

"It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us to turn again to the earth and in the contemplation of her beauties to know the sense of wonder and humility." -- Rachel Louise Carson.

Lying on the blindingly white sands that afternoon, I noticed the clouds beyond me in the incandescent blue skies that expanded into infinity. The clouds seemed to float away, rolling with the wind patterns which contained no questions, just a sense of duty. It reminded me of life and how it stops for no one, regardless of what we are faced with along the way.

I hand picked vague, specific shapes that somehow felt significant in that instant. Figures of children playing, a castle, and an orchid. I don't know why, but in that precise moment, everything felt a bit poetic. It was almost as if I could see it presented in the form of a painting; being able to smell the aroma of the crisp, salty beach air lingering above.

Blazing hot rays enveloped my body as I closed my eyes and wondered why I hadn't done this sooner-- left it all behind just to focus on each moment as they happened. It was a mere flash, but there was so much feeling behind this small epiphany, that I giggled to myself and then continued to lie in awe and experience the magnificence that bestowed me.

I didn't want the moment to ever escape my grip. Opening my eyes, I was drawn to the dazzling turquoise waters that lay out for miles. The waves came, crashing down in an uproar, and then went, inviting me back out to sea. Seagulls flew above me and a slight breeze greeted me, bringing a smile to my face.

"This is what they meant," I thought to myself,"This is what they meant about when life feels perfect. Flawless. This is utopia." And as naive as that thought may have been, I believed it with every ounce of being.

Mexico. It was my every reason for existing during those moments, and it's what keeps me going. The desperate need for this feeling is what had brought me there. It was like a high that I never wanted to come down from. It was the friendly greetings which turned into meaningful embraces, the carefree days lying beneath the sun side by side, the countless dates amidst candlelight, the nights we never wanted to end. I wondered how many people, at that exact moment, felt the solace I held from the paradise I'd experienced.