The Heel Press - All That Flip In, Flip Out Shit

Group Comments (16)

richa_zerlina
	Member
18 points

on 01/28/07 at 05:33 PM

i dont get it

Jack Monroe
	Silver
4,709 points

on 11/09/06 at 10:25 PM

Today, I googled the word "google."

Nadia
	Silver
1,817 points

on 07/30/06 at 05:52 PM

i never understood why it was so illegal to skate in downtown santa cruz, but on halloween, there were shitloads of people just lighting up blunts in the middle of the street, with cops all over the place. if you're gonna be relaxed, then what the hell did skaters ever do? i don't get it. and joe siegel is a douchebag. you get paid to watch movies, don't walk out on one, what the hell?

Jack Monroe
	Silver
4,709 points

on 07/28/06 at 12:01 AM

I think the world of him but I was embarrased. Some dudes saw our posse and remarked how they'd never seen skaters and bladers coexisting in peace before (remember this is mid nineties when the beef was on full flame). They laughed, I cried. Fuck Joel Siegel.

Jack Monroe
	Silver
4,709 points

on 07/28/06 at 12:01 AM

If I was a little boy again, I would kill as many ants as possible. I just can't kill ants like I used to anymore. There's no enjoyment in it as an grown man. I used to have a million and one ways for them to die. Now, I just look at them and shrug nonchalantly, then go back to watching Maury Povich. I'm watching an episode now of Sex In The City that is exactly like the plot line to Failure to Launch. Sarah Jessica Parker with some dude that lives with his parents. Granted, I haven't seen Failure To Launch but the plot lines appear to be identical. I feel shammed. The fuck is this? The Descent will suck. Take my word. Grip Tape, son! Has anyone ever made a tuxedo out of grip tape? I saw Simon Woodstock at the Vans Hard Rock Contest in LA when he was wearing that suit covered in Ivy. And I took his picture. That was pretty cool at the time. Thizz. He, uh, had a big crowd of youngsters around him, getting his autograph. Autographs suck. Who's autograph would sell for enough to get me out of a skate citation though? Rune Glifberg's? Chris Lambert? Santa Cruz is harsh on the skate tickets. It's illegal, except in designated joints like skatepark. It was illegal like that in Carlsbad too. Talk about pissy. What's a rack? It's a fucking country, bitch! This is where you and I part ways. How could Supercreepy not fuck Charlotte then bust a nut the bathroom to some porn mag? The world's fucked up and I'm not Slick Rick The Ruler. I'm not even a hip hop choreographer. So lassiez faire. I have a friend from CO who used to rollerblade. One time he visited and me him and another friend of mine all decided to go skate downtown. His accompaniment posed a dillema. Should he try to skate? Or will that just slow us all down because he wont know how to use it? Maybe I should wear the rollerblades? Hell no. We decided to let him roll out in the fruit boots. He's a great friend and

Anonymous

on 05/19/06 at 09:05 PM

wow.

Anonymous

on 05/19/06 at 08:00 PM

Buy the fucking art.

Anonymous

on 05/19/06 at 08:00 PM

I don't try. Trust me. It's one of my biggest personality flaws. I just lie around all day and simply exist. It's quite sad really but I figure why try? If it's gonna happen, it'll happen.

But, enough about me, let's talk about you. You don't like gorillas, do you? You don't have to say anything; I can tell and it's perfectly all right.

Consider this though: if Koko gave you a handjob, maybe you'd pull the stick out of your ass and ease up a little bit. You probably think Gorillas are gross and nasty and all that, but if you open up your heart to sensual possibilities that you could achieve with Koko, you wouldn't be so annoying. Plus, i heard she lets you bust your nut all over her titties.

http://www.koko.org/friends/kokomart_art.koko.html#

Trust me, you need to buy some Koko art.

My favorite is the piece entitled "Pink, Pink, Stink, Nice Drink," described by the site as Koko's "own rendition of a photo she saw that contained a valley with a stream banked by beautiful pink flowers. 'Stink' is Koko's sign for flowers, 'drink' is her sign for water, and she named the painting herself."

You, however, might be more in need of Koko's piece entitled "Love." Natasha will be teaching me how to love. Maybe Koko can teach you how to love as well.

Did you know Koko's greatest desire is to be pregnant? Yup. thats why she has all those fucking cats. And she has expressed her plans to teach those seeds sign language, "which will engender the next generation of interspecies communication."

Wait. Damn. This Koko lady gotta be stopped.

Anonymous #8, you must destroy this monkey. Destroy her or else the human resistance will be forced to send a terminator back in time from a post-apocalyptic warzone to assasinate Koko and ensure that the monkeys don't take over. Ever.

Not interested? Well then

Anonymous

on 05/19/06 at 06:53 PM

tried too hard on that one

Jack Monroe
	Silver
4,709 points

on 05/18/06 at 11:59 PM

What the hell is it about bananas that gets monkey's all riled up? is it cause they're yellow? is it because they're full of potassium?

holy shit.

monkey's peel bananas.

i never thought about that before. think about that. that's a very sophisticated, human trait/ability. that is fucking amazing. what other animals can peel a banaynay? none. bears ain't doing it. cougars? pssshh. they'll rip it to shreds.

I bet you these fucking monkeys could do my desk job easy if my company trained them well enough. Filing, lifting boxes, typing invoices, smoking blunts, fucking with dames by the water cooler. Shit, the damn monkeys might even be more efficient than me.

On the flip, I bet that Koko gorilla can give a mean handjob though.

ugh. that would be disgusting. sorry i said that.

There's a great Poe short story about a murder where this people get sliced up and shoved up a...well, nevermind. read it yourself.

Anyone else like Poe? You better. He's a talented one. Heard he died facedown in a gutter, or in a trash can or something.

Anonymous

on 05/18/06 at 06:29 PM

when you write, just it just flow out all at once? you are funny as hell man.

Anonymous

on 05/18/06 at 06:06 PM

seriously man, what the fuck are you talking about?

Anonymous

on 05/18/06 at 03:14 PM

what's love got to do with it?

Natasha VC
	Silver
3,785 points

on 05/17/06 at 09:24 PM

Jack, if you teach me how to skateboard. I'll teach you how to love.

Jack Monroe
	Silver
4,709 points

on 05/17/06 at 01:00 AM

et bowl? Let's talk about building me a shower house so that I can be under a warm stream of water all day long 24/7. Laminate the reading material and seal the t.vs in the walls. Let's talk about those little hanging things that hang from lingerie and why that shit is so hot. that shit is fucking hot!

You want to ask me a question? Don't because i dont wanna answer it. I ask the questions around here, asshole. Treat this shit like Jeopardy. Come with your own perspectives and your own ideas and be prepared to make some statements. Charlie Sheen Fact: he has 13 tatoos on his body. bet you didn't know that did you? i thought not.

Let's battle with rhymes. Fuck it, lets battle with ghost stories, son. Send me pictures of your scar tissue.

Ksshh. The varial flip is NOT lame when done correctly. Jack Out. Over. Fuck you. Ksshh.

Jack Monroe
	Silver
4,709 points

on 05/17/06 at 12:50 AM

I want to get this party started off right.

We got the fucking spiked punch, we got the damn DJ, we got the strippers coming in the In-N-Out outfits at 10...but you know what we're missing?

The skating, man. Where's the fucking skating? Somebody set up a miniramp in this bitch and push some little kids into it when they're not looking. That'll entertain us. Do a kickflip.

If you don't wanna talk about skating, fine. Forget it. Let's talk about what you want to talk about. Advice? Your girlfriend's fucking your cleaning lady? Who cares? Go get a bottle of cuervo and start getting trashed like the rest of us poor, pathetic losers who just realized our lives suck. Stay blazed. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a--motherfucker shut the fuck up! Say some relevent shit like how America should approach the illegal alien "invasion"? Invasion? Get the hell outta here. Stalin invaded Europe, this is not a fucking invasion. Watch your words you right wing fucks. This is a no spin zone where deuchebags like Bill O'Reilly and Tucker Carlson get the boot. Is his last name Carlson? Screw it. I am the decider who decides if they get the ejection chair or the electric chair. Dont get me wrong: I'd hear them out if they weren't completely insane.

Boot Camp Click for life? for life! Do you believe in Shadow people? Time travel? I think it sucks for British people that Snoop Dogg can't go to the UK anymore. he has been banned for life! for life? for life! Brits will have to take the ferry to France or Scotland the next time they want to see a live rendition of Gin and Juice.

Star Jones versus Rosie O donnel: who's winnin the mudwrestling match? My money's on Rosie knocking Star Jones the fizuck out.

Let's talk about sex, baby! Why do people have no problem eating their lover's ass out for free but want to get paid a million dollars to lick a toil